i dont know about you but im feeling 22
rejection letters that i’ll be getting in march
lol lol lol
Hi! I decided to wait till I got home to answer this message because I actually drafted a really long reply to it in my head and I didn’t want to half-ass it because there’s actually a lot I can say.
So, for starters, I’ve never really had a “best” friend. I’ve always had a little group of people who I talked to and hung out with, but the idea of a best friend has always kinda freaked me out because I’m not accustomed to putting everything I have into one person, because if they leave, then I’d be stranded. I’ve only had a few people in my life who I would ever consider my best friend, and even then, it was only for a limited time. So now when I use the term, I kinda throw it around because the people I refer to would normally be what could be considered my best friends if I didn’t have this weird commitment issue. I normally just say it to refer to people who I do like very much and who I’m close with, but the term best friend to me is barely even real, if this makes any sense at all. So yeah, just for future reference, I call a lot of people my best friend, as evidenced in that post and, I’m sure, others like it. It’s just a term of endearment, in my mind, because otherwise it carries too much baggage.
But I have to admit, the internet friends I have made I’ve become extremely close to. Like, I do definitely feel closer to them than the majority of people I know in my life, the only exception being friends I’ve had for a sustained amount of time. But I don’t know if that’s a benefit of internet friends or a detriment of “high school friends.” When I was volunteering once, I was working with a college girl and we were talking about the differences between high school and college. This girl was in community college, so she lived at home still, but she emphasized how much better college was socially. She said, “College friends are friends by choice; high school friends are friends by circumstance.” I actually thought this was a really accurate portrayal, at least for me, because my friends have pretty much been because we grew up in the same town, we live near each other, we’re in the same required classes. We don’t really have that much in common; we’re just friends because we need people to talk to and to be with in high school. I think this is just my school, though, because I’ve heard other people say they’ve met their best friends for the rest of their lives in high school. And I do think that connection is possible, it’s just rarer. I don’t know that I would keep in touch with all that many people in high school; it might seem sad, but even now their faces are starting to blur in my memories.
So, internet friends are kind of like the opposite. I mean, I know the term “internet friends” is kinda loaded, right, you think about creepy 40 year old men who are pretending to be 16 year old girls, that whole thing. My best friend in school had internet friends from the beginning of high school and I was worried for her because she was close to them and I thought it wasn’t safe. But I’ve realized now that it’s actually a really convenient way of maintaining relationships. I’m an introverted person who has no problem being alone, and actually, being with other people for extended amounts of time drains all my energy. Here, it’s as easy as closing my computer, and my friends here can understand that. As you know, my friends on here are all from the college application community, so we all have this enormous part of our lives in common. We’re all the same age, we’re all similarly high achievers, and we’re all going through the same thing. I don’t have any friends in my school who applied to the colleges I applied to. I’m not part of the “smart-kid clique” at my school, so ordinarily I would feel like a total outcast, but now it’s not so hard.
And I do think it’s better. Making friends on the internet is kind of how I imagine making friends after high school is going to be. I’m the only one here from my particular high school, so there were no preconceived notions or judgment. I managed to find people with similar interests and learn from people with different interests. I was able to form pretty deep bonds with people after a few short months. Was this partially because of the ease of technological communication, like Facebook, Snapchat, Google Hangouts, etc? Absolutely. But it was partially because of us, too. Maybe it’s just the anthropologist in me talking, but I think our piece of the internet is actually a great view into the microcosm of the human condition because I was able to meet people I hadn’t even known existed. It reminds me how much there is out there. Hell, even in my state there are people who I never would have known otherwise, and the fact that I could go outside and have lunch with them was astounding.
I said that high school friends are friends by circumstance, and I stand by that. I said I probably will not keep in touch with them after graduation, and I think that’s a fairly accurate statement. So the question begs, will these internet friendships last? I can’t say. I know that right now, at this moment, we’re all in the same stage of our lives, and it’s an ephemeral stage. In the future, some of us are going to do different things than others, and that’s only natural. We can only be grateful for what has already happened, all the video chats, Snapchat screenshots, facebook group messages, texts, and even real-life meetups, because those existed, no matter what. I won’t be sad if we do eventually end up breaking off, splintering apart as so many relationships do, because if this is the last time it’s going to be like this, well, it’s been a good ride.
the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” is actually not the full phrase it actually is “curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back” so don’t let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu